Blogging 24: We Interrupt This Intense Program With a Weather Report. It's Raining.

The following takes place between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m.

6:00:00
The sun is rising over Manhattan. (Sunrise on April 5, 2010 took place at 6:33. Close enough.)

Ethan is still pasty and sweaty.

Wait. Remind me: why is the POTUS in New York again? In imminent danger of becoming POTUS-toast?

Tick tock. Tick tock. Wow. No dialogue. Just...waiting. Tick tock.

Ten seconds to STOP THE BOMB! SEVEN SECONDS!!

Tarin knows what to do.

Hmmm. What. WHAT? What does he know to do? That was pretty good suspense if you ask me.

...

"Can you hear me now?" Nice product tag line placement, Verizon Wireless!

Jack: "It's not our call. President Taylor said..."

Wait just a cotton-picking minute. Since when does Jack NOT second-guess the president and do exactly what he wants to do, even if it is in direct opposition to the president's direct orders?

A black SUV, of course. The Vehicle of Betrayal.

Bishop. The soon-to-be-dead agent's name is Bishop. Nice subtext on the name, writers.

Who is this actor playing Bishop? Looks familiar.

OH! President Taylor got slappy!

"It wasn't your decision to make!"

"I don't want deniability! I want Hassan!"

She's like, ready to cry. Baby.

And wow. That Rob is one cheeky bastard: "Really, Madame President? New York is safe." Um, yes. Really. Treason is treason, dude. That's why Tony Almeida and his Cubs mug went to prison, man.

...

If Dana doesn't stop pursing her lips I'm going to twist them with a needle-nose plier.

Bishop: "We succeeded. We saved Manhattan."

Aw, Boy Scout. You are such an honorable man. Too bad you didn't do a background check before you got engaged to a DOMESTIC TERRORIST.

Tarin, to Hassan: "You wanted the cover of Time Magazine!" Good one, Tarin.

The line that will cement Hassan's place in (fake) history as a Martyr for Peace: "Yes, I've made mistakes. But believing in peace was not one of them."

Aw. Hassan is crying. What a baby.

...

POTUS is putting a lot of pressure on Ethan to get back to work right away, isn't she? Shouldn't she at least let him take an hour off to recover from his MASSIVE HEART ATTACK?

Jack sure is familiar with New York City streets and traffic patterns. It's almost like he's urban-omnicient.

Dana! You evil bitch! Chloe does not trust you; therefore YOU. WILL. BE. CAUGHT.

Arlo! Keep asking questions! Go Arlo! But I'm pretty sure you're going to die and get stuffed into a vent...

Oh! Don't turn your back on her, dude! Don't turn...oh crap. Oh. Crap. Oh...Saved by the earpiece. Phew.

...

"You're on an island, you know. There's no way out." Heh.

Well, if you're going to steal a car for a chase scene, it's good to pick a fast one.

All anyone has to do is take one look at Dana's BitchFace to know she's behind all these shenanigans.

Wait another cotton-picking minute. How did they have a car and two henchpersons, complete with disguises, waiting at the parking garage which was a last minute diversion from the Real Plan?

AHA! The Cell Phone of Discovery!

...

Ad for Home Depot: "Break open a can of doing"? Lame

...

Wait, what? The Russian foreign minister? What do the Russians have to do with all of this?

Oh, yeah. I forgot. We started off the day with Renee separating a Russian mobster from his thumb to try to get to the Chief Russian Scalawag who was selling the Rods of Doom.

And that reminds me: Where has Sark been all this time? I miss him.

Oh. Oprah would not be happy. Jack is texting while driving.

Cole's feelings are hurt. He is probably going to say goodbye to love.

...

I know why Dana wants to talk to Jack Bauer. I'd want to talk him. Wouldn't you?

Excellent Get Smart doors.

It wouldn't be 24 without Jack pulling the old choke-hold-up-against-the-wall maneuver.

Did Renee just roll her eyes in whatever-boredom when Hastings gulped at Jack's rough interrogation techniques?

Dana: Tick-tock, Mr. Bauer. You're running out of time.

That is a cute little blue...WAIT. WHAT?! WHAT?!!!! Really, Fox-News Chicago -- REALLY?!! You're going to interrupt 24 with a freaking WEATHER REPORT? That is so wrong.

[I picked up the phone at this point and called Fox News Chicago. When the guy at the station answered the phone, I said, "Really?! REALLY?!" and apparently, he had received a few other similarly irate calls, because he said, "I'm very sorry, Ma'am, she'll be off in just a minute."

"Really, though?!" I said again, and he said, "I'm very sorry, Ma'am. She had to do a weather update because of the rough weather situation. She'll be off in a minute." And they couldn't just scroll "It's raining and windy in Chicago!" across the bottom of the screen?]

Ahem. Back to the blogging of 24:

Recycled plot device: World leader forced to confess heinous crimes over the internet under threat of public execution.

...

People keep saying, "Get over it."

...

I'm still mad at Fox News Chicago for breaking into the show with a fucking WEATHER REPORT.

Those bad guys must be rilly, rilly bad if they're actually against peace!

Kayla: "Can you guarantee that he will be saved?" No, dummy. There are no guarantees in life, and especially not in a hostage situation. The only guarantee in 24 is that the perimeter will be breached.

Where are these drones, exactly? How can they deliver such clear video?

Jack: "Renee, I need to talk to you. I want you with me on the assault team. I may need your circular sawing and stabbing skills." OK, he didn't really say that last thing.

She is like a little red-headed puppy.

...

What happened to "Renee, you must stay behind me at all times"? He actually held the door for her to go in ahead of him.

Why did Jack put that gun clip neatly on top of the fuse box?

Watch out, little girl with Etch-A-Sketch!

Oh, that woman on the couch is going to scream, isn't she? She's going to blow the whole operation!

No! Even better: she's the be-wigged one!

Oh my. Hassan is dead. The whole confess and then get executed show was pre-recorded. What a cheat. Good thing the wife and daughter weren't watching that.

And...silent clock.

More preview teases with Gregory Itzin.