Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Desperation and Potential Insanity

Here's how desperate I'm feeling about finding work: I'm thinking of taking A. Peevie and M. Peevie out of the Lutheran school and...wait for it...homeschooling them.

Remember in January when I homeschooled for one morning, and I was so happy when it was time to take them to school for the rest of the day? Yeah. I'm not sure that our major medical will cover that much mental health treatment. Do they still do electro-shock therapy?

Even though this solution would save our family about $8,500 in expenses for the year, I do not envision myself as a homeschooler. I do not have the patience, wisdom, patience, creativity, patience, or desire to home school my two younger children--and yet, what are my options? Sending them to the local public school? Not gonna happen.

I'm not opposed to public schools in general--just under-performing ones, where my kids won't get the right combination of challenge and support. The school within walking distance from us is one of those. I've helped the neighbor kids with their homework from that school, and it all looks like lame-ass busy-work to me. In 2005, for example, only half of their fifth graders met the state standards for reading. The school's numbers are improving--and good for them; but meanwhile, I want my kids in a place where they will be expected to perform well above the state-mandated minimums.

The only way to continue sending them to their friendly, mostly wonderful Lutheran school is for me to build my freelance writing business (I've been trying--I expect to receive my Professional Resume Writing Certification any day now) or get an actual job. The job situation is tricky. If I'm going to get a job outside of the house, it probably needs to be part-time during school hours. Does that kind of job even exist?

My creative friend Mrs. D'Onofrio suggested that I find a job as a part-time astronaut or possibly a part-time runway model, which made me start thinking about all sorts of other interesting vocations that I could pursue part time: carnival game operator, brain surgeon, criminal defense attorney, financial advisor, professional television watcher.

My blog and I are open to your suggestions. And meanwhile, if you have a friend who is looking for a writer with mad skilz, please give her my name.

9 comments:

Tina said...

Home schooled children are not so bad. It's the ones that don't develop social skills because of it that are weird. Could you homeschool them, but then sign them up for something that requires them to socialize with other kids their age. Just a thought.

Love your blog! Good luck with the job situation.

KMR said...

Ooh, I don't know what to suggest as far as home schooling. But for a part-time job, you mentioned "astronaut". Maybe our friend Dr. Smith has some pull? (But get hold of him in a hurry! His flight to the space station is tomorrow!!)

KMR said...

Here's more info on Dr. Smith's trip: http://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/station/expeditions/expedition19/index.html

Unknown said...

Shut UP! Go Mikey! I mean "Dr. Smith"! (Dr. Smith?) Thanks for the links, Boy G.

Unknown said...

Hi Tina, and welcome to The Green Room. Thanks for commenting.

I'm not worried about my children suffering from home schooling--I'm worried about me suffering from home schooling. I know plenty of people who do the home school thing very well, and I admire them.

All of them have their kids involved in many types of outside-of-the-home fun and learning activities--science classes, music, sports, museum trips, etc.

KMR said...

He's Dr. Smith because that's what he wanted to be ever since seeing the first episode of Lost in Space when he was a tot. (That is, he wanted to be a flight surgeon for astronauts, not a saboteur-slash-nutcase.)

Anonymous said...

You may save money in the short term but, if it were me, the costs to my family for paying for a private mental hospital down the road would more than offset the short term savings.

About the job situation, about 3 or 4 years into this whole "mommy" thing, I realized I should have either been a teacher (ha! good one) or a nurse (I would have one liners like "clean up your own body fluids" or "you bite me, I bite you"). I realized that next year I'll have exactly 2 1/2 hours three times a week to get a job - yeah, I'm sure there's something perfect for me out there.

Attilla The Mum said...

Check with your local library or community center to see if there is a homeschooling "pool" in your area. I live in an excruciatingly small town and yet there is a group of parents who homeschool their kids in classes! For example, Mom A has an English degree, so on Mondays she gets the neighborhood homeschooled kids at her house for English lessons. Dad B is a jazz musician, so he gets the kids for an hour on Tuesdays for music lessons. So on and so forth...

I've struggled with the homeschooling question myself, as my child is ready for kindergarten and our main option is the local public school. I struggle with such questions as "What could I contribute to the homeschool pool? Ummm, how to stir-fry leftover veggies? How to fold clothes, scrub the toilet and transplant rootbound hostas all in 20 minutes??" The homeschool pool is a pretty decent idea because you CAN have some free time and trust that your kids are learning something valuable. Or fun. Or both! Just an idea. I enjoy your blog--I've been a lurker for months!

Anonymous said...

It's fairly easy in Los Angeles to transfer your kid out of a poorly performing public school into a better one. (I won't say good, bc there isn't any in L.A's school district). Is that option available to you? I could never home school.