Here's how desperate I'm feeling about finding work: I'm thinking of taking A. Peevie and M. Peevie out of the Lutheran school and...wait for it...homeschooling them.
Remember in January when I homeschooled for one morning, and I was so happy when it was time to take them to school for the rest of the day? Yeah. I'm not sure that our major medical will cover that much mental health treatment. Do they still do electro-shock therapy?
Even though this solution would save our family about $8,500 in expenses for the year, I do not envision myself as a homeschooler. I do not have the patience, wisdom, patience, creativity, patience, or desire to home school my two younger children--and yet, what are my options? Sending them to the local public school? Not gonna happen.
I'm not opposed to public schools in general--just under-performing ones, where my kids won't get the right combination of challenge and support. The school within walking distance from us is one of those. I've helped the neighbor kids with their homework from that school, and it all looks like lame-ass busy-work to me. In 2005, for example, only half of their fifth graders met the state standards for reading. The school's numbers are improving--and good for them; but meanwhile, I want my kids in a place where they will be expected to perform well above the state-mandated minimums.
The only way to continue sending them to their friendly, mostly wonderful Lutheran school is for me to build my freelance writing business (I've been trying--I expect to receive my Professional Resume Writing Certification any day now) or get an actual job. The job situation is tricky. If I'm going to get a job outside of the house, it probably needs to be part-time during school hours. Does that kind of job even exist?
My creative friend Mrs. D'Onofrio suggested that I find a job as a part-time astronaut or possibly a part-time runway model, which made me start thinking about all sorts of other interesting vocations that I could pursue part time: carnival game operator, brain surgeon, criminal defense attorney, financial advisor, professional television watcher.
My blog and I are open to your suggestions. And meanwhile, if you have a friend who is looking for a writer with mad skilz, please give her my name.